Katastrophies & Other Important News

Damn you Marley and Me, damn you!  I have no idea why but I guess Chad and I like to torture ourselves.  I watched M&M on Sunday, balled my eyes out, and Chad turned it on last night and balled his eyes out stayed stoic like a real man.  Um, we have both seen the movie before.  We know it’s sad.  We know we are gonna cry.  And yet we watch it anyway.  The only one who benefits is Chewy, because we sit there petting the heck out of him and kissing his head like he is on his death bed.  Essentially Chad has been saying Chewy is probably on his way out for the last 4 years.  I have to keep reminding him that he’s not even sick.  Just because he’s old doesn’t mean he could go at any time.  But he is getting on up there so we just have to get our puppy lovin while we can.

Monday I finished a project for Chad’s boss and his wife:

(And yes I realize the pattern is upside down but don’t worry I fixed it post-photo shoot!)

They had their third child and their first girl!  Of course Chad didn’t know any details, like his boss’s wife’s name, the child’s name, his boss’s address…I think he just found out that his boss was married.  Sigh.  Men don’t ask enough questions.  Seriously.   I would have already known their inner most thoughts and fears by now, geez Chad get with the program.

Yesterday I broke my two year streak and finally made it to The Fair (The Fair – that’s a proper name right, it should be capitalized).  Jess and I headed out there, with the aid of the Garmina, and braved the cold and overcast skies.  I believe the weather report and Chad both promised for NO RAIN however it eventually showed up and forced us home a little early.  But we were able to enjoy just enough to leave us wanting more.  We started with nachos, then had cotton candy, then Jack’s fries, then we bought these tiny tastes of wine (as the glasses were 13 tickets, talk about inflation), and we finished off the debauchery with a pretzel.  We split everything though so really I only had half of all of the above, not too bad (right?).

We watched a dog show (yawn), watched people, watched people with food, I wasted $10 on some midway games (what a scam), Jessica contemplated letting one of the carnies guess her age (but decided against it being that she didn’t really need an inflatable sword anyhow), we looked at the barnyard animals (Jessica was really leery of the ostrich and I kept me eye on the camel, sketchy), waited in line for the bathroom, watched more people, and then the rain came so we RAN back to the car.

It was a good day had by all.  Oh, and Chad watched football.  All.  Day.  I am pretty sure Chewy slept all day either in our bed, under the guest bed, or in Chad’s man room. 

(Here we are, we were going to ask someone to take our picture…but um after surveying our options we decided it best to take our own photo.)

(Here we are again….oh wait, no that’s not us, those are some other pigs.)

P.S. On Friday I finished up some letters for Sophia’s playroom:

P.P.S. This picture is from a while ago, but it’s too cute not to share (he is such an angel):

This morning as I reviewed my check register I came to the conclusion that I spend entirely too much money at craft stores and restaurants.  While I bring my lunch to work and cook during the week the 2-3 times per week that I have lunch or dinner with a friend seem to really add up.  Perhaps it’s the glasses of wine though, because my meals are usually $8-$10 and the wine bill might be $16.  Well, if they wouldn’t charge so dang much for a Beringer chardonnay then maybe I could save some darn money, I could buy two bottles for what they charge for two glasses (it’s morally wrong if you ask me). 

The craft store bill is another story.  The problem is each craft store has different specials at different times so I am never quite sure which one to visit.  Michael’s has good prices on wooden letters, but a bad selection.  JoAnne’s is expensive but they have a great selection, and Hobby Lobby has great sales all the time on something but it’s far from my house and closed on Sundays.  And when I say far I mean more than 4 minutes, because everything is 4 minutes or less in Frisco (except Hobby Lobby….and Nordstrom Rack).   Yesterday I got a craft idea and decided to stop on my way home, which was my 3 trip this week.  I am starting to feel a bit like an alcoholic visiting the liquor store, so had to try a new location, so as not to be recognized.  Would you believe that Michael’s is now selling birth control?  They are, I swear.  This woman and her two kids were in line and the kids were running all over the store like mad people bringing her every little piece of junk they could find and begging her to buy it for them.  By the time they left she had the “I’m serious this time” mom-tone, “Tell your sister we ARE LEAVING.  Right now.  I am so DONE.”  That’s all I needed to hear.

You guys already know how cool and exciting my life is so it will come as no surprise to you that yesterday, after work, I headed to the grocery store.  While there I was enticed by the pumpkin display and an idea popped into my head (ok, I saw it in a magazine once if you must know).  I spent the remainder o f the evening doing these:

 I also cooked a pot roast, though it wasn’t really for dinner since it takes about 3 hours to cook and had to eat way before that time.

The weekend was full of a bunch of laziness, but I did manage to finish one project for my precious angel God Daughter Sophia. She needs to brush her teeth and wash her hands herself and she is too whittle so her mom, Gigi, asked me to make something cute (she is obsessed with shoes hence…the shoes….oh, and the K stands for Kate, in case you were wondering, and yes she was name after yours truly):

For some reason cooler weather makes me want to obsessively craft, and not work out. Oops, ugg, it’s true, the exit of bathing suit season has turned out to be quite the de-motivator.  Sigh.  It should be enough that we are cruising to the Caribbean in December…but alas I have a short attention span and December is a long way off.

Why not take advantage of my cynical state at the moment to make a list of NO NOs for the office:

1. When submitting your resume via e-mail make sure the body of the e-mail doesn’t look like this: “i am a freelance a/v guy i am very interested in assisting whom ever for this job opportunity.”  No matter what the position is capitalization and punctuation are still somewhat important.

2. If you are just going to run into their office afterwards and ask them “did you get my e-mail” don’t send the e-mail, just run into their office.  Annoying.

3. Unless you have a designated assistant or are the big boss don’t ask a coworker to ask another coworker a question and then report back.  Really annoying.

4. While it’s super tempting avoid e-mails like this: “Please read below, SEE, I did send this to you and this e-mail proves it, HAHAHA!”  I can’t say I haven’t done this, but it’s childish nonetheless.

5. Also avoid e-mails like this:  “Please read from the bottom up through 25 e-mail exchanges – let me know if you have any questions, thanks!”  This is HIGHLY annoying and a golden opportunity for miscommunication. This is so annoying that I don’t have words for it.

6. For the love of God, it is not necessary to “reply all” to companywide e-mails with “thanks.”  As if we don’t all have enough e-mail clutter in our lives, I don’t need your smiley face response clogging up my inbox.

7. “Are you busy?’  YES, if I am typing vigorously and looking focused then YES I am busy.  If I am lounging in my chair twirling my hair then no, I am not busy but the fact that you have to ask is still annoying.  Pay attention and use common sense.

8. “I hate to interrupt…”  I know, but you are going to anyway, OBVIOUSLY.

9. “How was your weekend?”  “Oh good, anyway, could you make 20 copies of this and contact….”  There is no need for polite filler if you really just want to ask me to do stuff.  I am not stupid.

10. “WE need to…”  No, technically it’s not WE, what you mean is “YOU need to…”  So just start with that, don’t kid yourself.

You might have noticed that it has been a long time since I have blogged.  I don’t even have a good excuse except that I am in an “almost 30 funk” and nothing seems to lift my spirits. So there you have it.  I am old.  Almost 30.  And not happy about it.

While I am not opposed to a rainy day I am opposed to three consecutive weekend days full of a steady uneventful drizzle.  It’s downright depressing.

Friday night we decided to brave the drizzle and celebrate our anniversary at Coast, in The Shops at Legacy.  It was yummy, moderately priced, and I enjoyed the elegant yet casual atmosphere.  I had the salmon with mango salsa while Chad has the red snapper.  Their wine servings were, ahem, a little chincy.  What am I 18?  Come on people give me a REAL glass of wine, not some “taster” serving.  Honestly, if this is a result of the down economy I just have one thing to say: in times of financial turmoil it is important to keep the general public pumped full of boos.  Nobody wants a sober angry mob forming.

Saturday I ran tons of errands, one of which was to Walgreens to print some photos.  I have this thing about printing pictures, I don’t do it.  I don’t know why exactly but I think it’s similar to the reason why I don’t like to download songs to iTunes – I am just too dang impatient and there are tons of other things I would rather be doing.  But I suffered through the process because I really wanted some of my Washington pics.

Next I found myself at the mall.  I had a specific purpose and really tried to stay on task but alas, I remembered that Restoration Hardware was closing (and moving) so I had to stop in.  They carry a cucumber mint soap and lotion that I am in love with!  Much to my delight they had a giant refill of hand soap, a lamp shade I have been searching for, and some soap dispensers.  I bought soap dispenses when we got married for our guest bathrooms.  They seemed nice enough, but just a few months later the lids started to rust so that when you pumped out some soap little flakes of rust would also appear.  Gross.  Anyway, the newer models from RH were originally $46 each.  UM EXCUSE ME, they had better be the best dang soap dispenses made and last me for the rest of my life.  Luckily they were 60% off, otherwise I would never have purchased them.  Chad said he might have purchased them anyway because he has no idea how much stuff like that should cost.  Note to self: Do not send Chad to purchase anything other than clothing….for himself.

Back to my specific purpose for the mall trip; I had to exchange a few items that my dear sweet husband bought me for our anniversary.  The two year mark is apparently the cotton anniversary.  So that narrowed it down to sheets or clothing and since we just bought new sheets both Chad and I opted for clothing.  He surprised me with a new robe, matching slippers and some lounge pants from Victoria’s Secret.  I am sure it’s quite daunting for a man to buy his wife clothing.  There is the whole size decision on top of just general taste and style.  Like a wise man he opted to get the smaller size, just to be safe.  While it’s nice to imagine wearing a size small shoe of any kind it’s simply not realistic, hello – I am 5’8 ½ I would fall forward with a size 7 foot.  And the pants, while not completely out of the question, were just a little snug and short.  That’s another issue with being over 5’7, you have to go up a size to avoid looking like you are prepping for the flood with ankle length pants.  Anyway, enough about me……oh wait, no it’s not. 

Saturday night I made a special dessert to celebrate our anniversary:

And for me, a gluten free version – basically just pudding and bananas:

 If anyone needs a banana pudding fix just head on over because there is no way Chad will eat all of that by himself.

P.S. I have decided that the way to stay thin is to simple “nibble” and “sip” on things.  I know this because whenever they go behind the scenes of a magazine shoot with a celebrity they say:

Arrived in: Prada jeans, Gucci top and Jimmy Choo heels

Hometown: St. Louis

Lunch: NIBBLED on fried onion rings, cheese, veggie burger and SIPPED a diet Coke while dancing to Nelly Furtado and M&M.

(See you can eat whatever you want if you just nibble and sip.)

You know how when you go on a trip you decide it’s time to clean out your purse?  Assuming you are a woman, or not, we don’t judge here so you could very well carry a man bag.  I am always afraid I am going to forget I have a pocket knife, lighter or small hand gun in my side pocket and then subsequently be detained, searched and otherwise traumatized for life.  Besides a good purse clean out is in order at least once a quarter.  But I realized that I carry around a lot of junk I don’t use:

1. A discount card for every retailer in North Texas

2. A full package of on-the-go floss

3. 2 sets of earrings, one of which is broken

4. Change I never use

5. Empty lotion

6. An expired car wash coupon

7. Extra lip gloss and lipstick I never wear

8. Nail file

9. Vitamins

Yeah, that’s a bit excessive don’t you think.  No wonder I can never find anything.

Before I left on my trip my hubby surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers:

Unfortunately I was only able to enjoy them for a day before I left, now they are gonners and looking quite sad all dead and dying on the table.

So our two year anniversary is coming up!  It seems like just yesterday I was completely freaking out about custom postage stamps and cup cakes.  But I have learned a lot about men and marriage in my mere two years, things like:

1. It doesn’t matter that the dishwasher is RIGHT THERE, laying a spoon in the sink is still easier (apparently).

2. Getting flowers for no reason is especially lovely.

3. Leaving ones clothing scattered about in the bedroom:  OK.  Not deleting Tivo shows and therefore cluttering up the recording list: NOT OK.

4. “I can’t wait to do yard work!” Can also mean, “I can’t wait to hire someone to mow the lawn….and by the way picking weeds in the flower bed doesn’t count as yard work.”

5. A great night out means getting middle/middle seats at the movies and coming home early to fawn over the dog.

Picking the right person to spend your life with is pretty danged important.  It’s so much better to share your life with someone….unless that someone is awful then you are totally screwed!  So I am glad I lucked out and got me a good one!

P.S. Among the items pictured above I also found some old Jelly Bellies in the front pocket of my purse, they had a bunch of lint and were pretty gross (don’t judge they were for an emergency situation):

This morning was rough.  As I drove to work at 7:15 (5:15 Washington time) I stared blankly at the vanity license plates securely fastened to their Lexus’, BMWs or giant Escalades wondering who on earth has the time or desire to get cutesy plates that nobody understands.  Vanity plates, expensive cars with shiny wheels and a fresh wax job, a high of 95, miles and miles of concrete with a Starbucks on every corner…ugg.  Sigh.  I left this:

 For all of that.  Booo.  The only thing Washington needed to make me stay forever was Chad and Chewy….and a monthly visit from all my friends and family.  Crap.  So yeah, it’s probably not going to happen that Chad and I move to Washington, but it sure was a wonderful place to visit.  I probably took entirely too many pictures of trees and rocks, but I had to if I was going to remember what they looked like after I got home.

We did everything I wanted to do; Wine tasting on day one, with a little souvenir purchase of 6 bottles to be shipped home (What.  Quit judging me, it’s not like I am going to drink them all at once.).  River rafting on day two, you might notice there are no pictures of me in my wet suit.  For good reason.  Turns out neoprene is NOT HOT, nor were the matching booties, helmet and life vest (although all very necessary).  Halfway through at Housom Falls we all were given the choice to either ride the falls or safely walk around.  Can you guess which I chose?  If not then you haven’t been paying attention.  “Yeah, I will just walk around thank you very much.”  Don’t think I am a chicken, I am so not, but after 30 minutes of, “Yeah, we have had 25 ‘swimmers’ this year, lots of broken noses, torn ligaments, and you could be caught in the falls for up to 10 minutes.” I eagerly declined the opportunity. 

Day three presented a 7 mile hike in the drizzle and cold.  But it was so awesome.  Like nothing I have ever seen before.  While we didn’t see any wild animals (unless you count these slugs:

) Blake gave me the run through of what to do when you encounter a bear vs. a mountain lion.  And there is a difference ya’ll.  Day four we went on another hike, although not nearly as long, to BZ Falls:

Afterwards we headed to the BZ Mart to pick up some scrumptious snacks…although we could have picked up much more than that:

1.  Bullets

2. A white tiger sculpture

3. The VHS of Jungle Fever (on sale no less)

4. Canning materials for food preservation

5. An array of fried foods spinning on heated rollers

6. A Blue Ribbon 40 OZ

7. And sausage sticks

The BZ Mart had it all!

Every evening we Julie made a delicious gluten free dish with ingredients from her garden like homemade tomato sauce, pesto, squash and eggplant.  Plus we picked up an actual FRESH salmon from some Native Americans on the side of the ride.  Did you know that fresh fish has bones in it?  Yeah, for real.  So that left me to wonder who does all the bone picking of the fish I buy at Tom Thumb or order at The Olive Garden?  Gosh, real food is a lot of work.  But man can you taste the difference.

After our gourmet meals we drank wine, well I drank wine and they drank beer, but someone else HAD to have been drinking the wine because when I left there were like 4 bottles on the porch waiting to be recycled.  Hmm, it’s a mystery, but there are a lot of wild animals in the area I am sure one of them is responsible.  Plus I saw their dog Hank eyeing my chardonnay.  Anyway, we enjoyed some beverages and sat outside watching the moon rise over the trees, looking at the stars and just taking in their beautiful meadow:

This might be TMI but I even peed outside, once, it was so outdoorsy of me.  And to continue to fit in I went makeup-less most of the time, it was very freeing.  Women don’t wear much makeup there, it’s such a change from Dallas.  HELLO, this is your average Dallas woman:

So I had a magnificent time, truly.  I am already missing my temporary home with Julie and Blake and their animals Hank, Boo, Moment and Wally (Chewy had lots of smells to investigate when I got home).

(It’s Schmulie and Schmatherine.)

(This is me at Maltanoma Falls on my last day…I kept calling it Melanoma Falls.)

(Julie and Blake on our hike.)

Today will be my last post before I head to Washington, but you can bet that I will have lots to write about when I return.  Last night I finished up my arts and crafts project that I began on Monday.  I seem to have a problem with boy art, I am pretty good at girly stuff but I always draw a blank when it comes to boys (just in general).  Anyhow, here is my best attempt:

And if you happen to be someone who might know who this is a gift for then “Shhhh.”  I couldn’t decide which to send so at the advisement of a very important family member (rhymes with schmindy) I will send both and let the receiver choose which one she likes the best.

I have mucho work to do today in preparation for my departure so adios for now!

P.S. I watched Jon Minus Kate Plus 8 last night, the recent episode where they went to the Dude Ranch in Wyoming and Jon stayed home and did activities with the girls that I AM SURE he made up himself (what a crock, there is no way that while sitting at some skuzzy he bar he thought, “Hey, I know, I will make can and string telephones with the girls next week and do a scavenger hunt.”).