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Long Weekend

May 28, 2008

What a fun filled holiday weekend it was.  I slept in every morning and it was glorious.  Friday night Chad and I watched the finale of Grey’s Anatomy (sniff, sniff – will Meredith and McDreamy ever just be together and happy or must they keep pulling stunts like making a floor plan out of a billion candles, WHO does that, seriously ) and we cooked dinner.  Then on Saturday we each celebrated with Jon and Beth at their respective bachelor and bachelorette parties.  I will leave Chad’s evening out of this, as I cannot be responsible for the funny things I may say about his behavior and since we have to live in the same household I would rather do so peacefully.  

Anyhow, dinner was lovely at Margarita Ranch; I love leisurely evenings sitting around with the girls enjoying one another’s company.  I like being able to hear what others are saying and even more importantly, my own thoughts.  These are things that just aren’t possible at clubs and certain bars.  This is why I am convinced so many people make dumb decisions about the opposite sex at establishments with loud music and background noise.  It’s not that these people are dumb or idiotic they simply cannot hear one another and therefore assume the best when really they shouldn’t.  No, that other person really did say, “I hope you drive a Beamer otherwise this conversation is over.” And not, “I really love my Stanley Steamer, and my dog is named Rover.”  As you get older you begin to appreciate the finer things in life, like conversations that don’t require that you scream or accompany every word with a hand motion in order for the other person to understand you (although with certain people this is a requirement nonetheless). 

After dinner we headed back to the hotel for cake and presents.  As is standard for bachelorette parties the cake was decorated with an inappropriate use of white chocolate – they are doing nice things with flesh colored chocolate these days and brown curly cue frosting goes a long way as well.  After some drinks we headed out to the clubs.  Our first stop was a sports bar and grill where we were decidedly the only females other than the waitresses, and the occasional Marlboro smoking, acid washed jeans wearing, whisky drinking young lady (who may or may not have been from Mesquite, love you CHAD).  We stayed just long enough to see the beginning of an ultimate fighting championship, my first ever (yeah me).The Soon-To-Be Bride and her two Blonde Bisnatches

Our next stop was The Ivey, where we went for Chad’s 30th birthday (I mean 29thish).  It was nice to have table service and sit back and people watch (my favorite hobby, and no my mouth was not half open).  Nothing too exciting, there was some dancing (not by me of course), some drinking, some sketchy men claiming to be important Dallas writers, you know, the usual.  After hour one Beth decided it was time to move on.  So we rallied the troops and headed to the hotel….or so we thought.  We were coerced into another club, with the allure of free shots (none for me thanks).  We took an elevator down to a loud, dark cave filled with scantily clad blondes.

My attention was immediately grabbed by two young women who had forgotten to put their skirts on, and yes I realize that by admitting this I sound like I am 45 years old, but it was ridiculous.  As if their long t-shirts posing as dresses weren’t enough they quickly began rubbing on one another pretending to dance while two hormonally infused young men watched eagerly.  I suppose when half of your rear end is exposed for all the world to see taking that extra step and molesting your friend on the dance floor doesn’t seem quite as risqué.  But frankly it made me vomit a little in my mouth and while I freely admit to having my wilder days they never involved my butt pressed up against my best friend’s crotch as we swayed to “I like big butts and I can’t deny all you other…..”  That’s one for the scrapbooks ladies, seriously, call me when you are 30, and have some damn pants on.

Why am I ALWAYS the floating head?

Why am I always the floating head and where is my other floating head best friend Gigi? 

Anyway, the pseudo lesbian dance off was our signal to head for the Hills (like, um, yeah, long pause, seriously).

The next day Chad and I bummed around the house.  That night we met Beth S. and a bunch of peeps out for her birthday at Fireside Pies in Grapevine, it was delicious.  And I got to hold Sophia Kate for a while, which was an extra treat – for those of you who don’t know she is Gigi and Eric’s little baby sweet bundle of honey love adorableness (or something like that).

That night when we got home our fire/smoke alarm decided to go off randomly.  I drove all the way to the store for replacement batteries only to discover that our detector is faulty.  So like any safety conscious couple we just removed it all together and it now sits nicely on the end of our kitchen counter waiting to detect something.

Monday I joined Beth, Renee and a bunch of peeps at the pool…the same pool where I obtained my base burn of the summer.  This time I was smart enough to lather up with something that actually had SPF in it.  It’s so fun to watch all the pool locals.  Nothing warms my heart like watching a young family relax by the pool together; mom holding baby, beer and lit cigarette and dad lightly caressing his beer belly complete with life size tattoo of a large breasted fairy.  Ah yes, this is Americana, this is the dream and I am just livin it.

We get it Beth, you’ve been working out, no need to show off.


One of many lovely ladies I met that night.


One Comment leave one →
  1. Beth permalink
    May 28, 2008 5:32 pm

    Many comments to make:

    1)I SWEAR we were at The Ivey longer than an hour…if not…that’s scary. 🙂 Not that I didn’t have a blast…the nasty guy grabing my butt did me in (who does that??)…and the fact that I yelled in his face.
    2)I forgot about the skanky dancing girls!!!
    3)I think a separate blog detailing Chad’s fall heard round the world (and yes Chad we laughed about this at my brother’s b-day lunch) is quite necessary. Along w/Chris’s snoring and panty wearing.
    4)You crack me up. So glad all you girls came! It meant the world to me and I now have the CUTEST pjs/undies ever! 🙂 Thank you!

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