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Ode to Lean Cuisine

June 2, 2008

There once was a time when I thought Lean Cuisines were a gross prepackaged excuse of a meal.  These were also the days in high school where I would eat McDonalds for lunch and then stop for ice cream on the way home and not gain an ounce (damn my old self).  Now that age, gravity and God’s amazing sense of humor have caught up with me I really appreciate a nice 350 calorie Lean Cuisine.  Despite the expense of about $3.50 each they are still cheaper than going out for lunch or dinner, and they are so easy; with my shortened attention span and need for immediate results 3 minutes and 25 seconds is just about right (although I get antsy at minute 2).  My favorite, by far, is the pizza (the round one).  I like the veggie version and the all meat and they are almost completely filling – however, I won’t pretend that I haven’t gone racing after a tiny escaped piece of sausage or bell pepper, I am an opportunist and one cannot let a single calorie go from those things.  In honor of my dearest Lean Cuisines I have written a small poem:


Lean Cuisine how I love you so,

You keep my stomach from letting go.

And when I am hungry for something hardy,

I eat your pizzas, their like a party!

And even though Chad thinks your yuck,

He’s glad my tummy won’t need a tuck.

Lean Cuisine you are the best,

You put Healthy Choice to the test.

Those bargain brands don’t stand a chance,

‘cause it is you who keeps me in my size 4 pants.


One Comment leave one →
  1. Cindy permalink
    June 8, 2008 1:58 pm

    OMG! What a positively brilliant poem! We need to get you an agent right away and get those commercials going, girl!

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