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Too Much Cleavage and No Sleevage

June 30, 2008

I work in a rather large building in North Dallas so I think I have a nice sampling of what people are wearing to work these days – more importantly what WOMEN are wearing to work these days (or what they aren’t wearing is more like it).  Gone are the times of stockings, skirts and high heel s (thank goodness) but now a new trend seems to have emerged.  I would call this trend: ass, boobs and overall inappropriateness.  This phenomenon is only heightened by the soaring temperatures in Texas, forget that it’s 10 below in the actual office building the fact that one has to walk to and from the car in the covered dark garage apparently warrants strappy tank tops and thigh grazing skirts. 

My company happens to be casual, not business casual just casual.  I love the expanded wardrobe I have now that jeans are an option every day but I still have pieces that only fall under the “weekend” or “nighttime” category.  This, apparently, is not the case for everyone.  Not only is scandalous attire sweeping the metroplex but so is just plain sloppy, ratty, and trashy.  Capris, yes.  Jean capris with a hole in the knee paired with your 12 year old payless sandals.  Emphatically.  NO.

Ladies, I think it’s important to note that your knee length dress may NOT be knee length in the back, if you know what I mean.  If you are lucky, you have something known as a rear end.  Now, I personally don’t know anything about this but I hear it’s a predominate and desired feature in most women.  It’s absolutely KEY to give yourself the once over from behind before leaving for work.  If you did then I am sure you would see that your dress/skirt is not as long in the back as it is in the front – like a reverse mullet only there is NO party going on in the back (and if there is I ain’t comin).

Cleavage.  Oh cleavage.  There is a time and a place, and it is not 8:00-5:00 M-F.  If you are a young woman you just look trashy and as though you are trying to climb the corporate ladder (with no underwear on).  If you are a mature woman then, well, I hate to say it but at some point you should know better and if you don’t then you just look sad (for not knowing, not that I am an ageist, old cleavage is beautiful too, just not at work).   You don’t have to wear turtlenecks and pleated pants.  That’s not at all what I am saying.  You can dress chic and look attractive without your boobs popping up or out.  And you will probably garner a lot more credibility too.

Men, let’s face it, you have it easy.  For the most part your wardrobe mistakes are pretty inoffensive, even if they may not be that fashionable.  The only request I have is to wear clothes that fit.  And if you have to pull your pants up or your shirt down just from standing and sitting then, well, your clothes don’t fit.  I don’t even want to see my own ass crack so I certainly don’t want to see yours.  It’s ok, go up a size the world will thank you.

In closing I would like to say that you can dress professionally and attractively on a budget.  It does not take a million dollars to look cute and appropriate.  Old Navy, Gap, even Target are all doing amazing things these days with professional attire.  Buy clothes that fit, buy classic cuts and maybe invest in a few key pieces but I promise you can get just as much done in a demure outfit as you can a strappy, low cut sundress.


P.S. Buy shoes that fit too, nothing looks sillier than your size 10 W feet spilling out a size 8 ½.  And I can say that because I wear a 9 ½.

(Yeah, so not appropriate for work)

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Beth permalink
    July 1, 2008 1:44 pm

    Hilarious I tell ya! There was a girl walking through my office the other day and everytime her dress swooshed I swear I saw her cheeks, and it was not a sight to see. I should forward this on to all the “offenders” in my office:)

  2. July 1, 2008 2:17 pm

    Did you post this on the intranet? 🙂

    Oh, and will you ammend the shoe argument to allow for half-price Michael Kors mules at DSW? Sometimes they just don’t have the 9 1/2… just saying.

  3. klemons permalink*
    July 1, 2008 2:18 pm

    HAHA and NO I didn’t put this one on the Intranet, I am not posting funny stuff on that thing anymore, nobody read it and it’s a pain to edit. Yes, of course, designer shoes are an exception for sure.

  4. July 17, 2008 1:21 am

    I love the way you write. I’ll be reading you from now on.

  5. July 17, 2008 1:26 am

    I am wearing a top that makes my boobs pop up, not out….yet! Sidi, mom of 2… LOL

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