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Dear Lo

August 19, 2008

Letter from The Hills’ producers to Lo:

Dear Lo,

  As it turns out you are not pretty enough to be one of the official Hill’s girls.  Nor are you interesting enough.  I must also point out that those aren’t side swept bangs you are sporting, that my little blonde friend is a full on comb over and needs to cease immediately if you are going to continue being Lauren’s friend on the show (please reference addendum A).  And if you do not find a job worth filming or cannot arrange for a place of business to “claim” you work there (even if you don’t) then we will have no choice but to oust you from the show.  This may be done using the following methods:

1.     A sad and heartbreaking drug and/or alcohol problem that forces you into rehab (just think it could actually be good for your, um, career)

2.    A classic betrayal of Lauren’s trust executed by you kissing or dating a former, current or future love interest of hers (although we may have to use a stunt double for any on camera making out as all of Lauren’s boy toys have refused to lock lips with you)

3.    A near tragic accident on Robertson Boulevard that forces you to move back home under your parent’s care so that they can nurse you back to health (just not healthy enough to move back in to Lauren’s house)

4.    A scandalous ultimatum given by Audrina to Lauren that states it’s her or you…and obviously it will be her (that stays)

We appreciate your cooperation in this matter and expect to hear back from you regarding the comb over and job situation.

 

Sincerely,

Really Rich & Brilliant Producer of The Greatest “Reality” Show Ever (The Hills)

Addendum A

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Beth P. permalink
    August 19, 2008 1:55 pm

    Last night was my first episode ever! I went home knowing that with Jon at Matt’s I would be able to watch whatever I wanted to on the telly. There was nothing…thankfully Jolene came to my rescue by texting me that I could watch the premiere of the Hills. I must admit….I failed to find a true point to the show….but I feel that I will be tuning in again. I can’t explain it myself.

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