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Hawt Protest

August 28, 2008

Starting today I will be protesting the heat.  It’s 115 degrees outside and we are 4 days away from September.  I realize that we are in Texas, which lives by its own temperature rules, but I almost melted today and I only got out of my car twice for 5.3 minutes each time.  And can you believe that there were people EATING outside.  Um, first of all, NO.  Second of all, HECK NO.  I don’t want to stand outside much less sit there for 30 minutes eating food, which unless it was ice cubes ala mode, would make me even hotter (temperature wise, ‘cause you don’t get any hawter than I already am).  My point is this is ridiculous.  I wonder what it would be like to live somewhere that it wasn’t this hot????  Perhaps I will go on vacation to Canada.  And while I am there I can get up to date on all of my shots, check-ups and maybe even be prescribed a bonus bottle of Valium or something….all for $0.00 (including tax).  I just have to count on not falling ill and needing a transplant of any kind, that’s when I hear the FREE part of their healthcare system kicks you in the rear.

Anyway, enough about the global healthcare system.  There are way too many issues to solve in one blog. 

So yeah, to add insult to injury I am sure the Gap and all of the other chain retail stores have already put out their knee length tweed skirts, leather coats, and boots.  So that we can be all FALLish while sweating our a$$es off.  I could always pair a scarf with a tank top, like they do in LA but that’s just not my thing and Chad would laugh at me (more than normal).  What about boots with my favorite patio dress from the summer?  Or a turtleneck and shorts?  Gahh, I guess it’s impossible to follow the seasons while living in Dallas.  Oh well, at least we can lay out until Thanksgiving….and you know all Texas girls are sun worshipers.  Most of us anyway.  No self respecting Texas girl doesn’t have age spots and leathery shoulders by age 35.  And as a coworker so geniusly pointed out even if our faces are smooth and sun free our chests are bright red, wrinkly and full of brown spots.  I guess we all just figured that by the time they looked really bad we would be old enough where nobody wanted to see our chests anyway.

Example A:

(This is me in 10 years, sorry Chad, it’s too late now!)

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