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Donde Esta El Bano?

November 10, 2008

Today Texas has welcomed us back with a nice overcast sky, a chill in the air and work.  Although the work part has less to do with Texas and more to do with having a job.  Going on vacation is great.  Coming back from vacation, not so much, I wish we could have teleported back rather than taking the nauseating bus ride to the airport, almost being SOL because I left my purse on the bus (Chad was highly annoyed that all I could do was shout “OMG I forgot my purse, OMG I forgot my purse” while being frozen in place), continuing to be nauseated while we waited for our plane,  being mad at Chad for NOT getting me French fries when he knows how I feel about them, and then getting stuck in a window seat next to someone who wasn’t my husband.  Yeah, could have done without the trip back.

We did three things on this trip: drink pina coladas, sleep in the sun, and eat at the various buffets and restaurants.  So overall I would say it was a productive time had by all.  Luckily someone else was in charge of the photo documentation so that I was free to crack highlarious jokes and make “that’s what she said” remarks until Gigi gave me the stink eye (it’s really rough being me).

Erica took a memorable spill down the pool stairs with drink in hand (luckily no pina coladas were harmed during the breaking of the fall).  In the same day Beth had a statue erected in her honor, not only that but they must have known she was coming because it was there when we arrived….and it was on the post card that we all received as a free gift.  That Beth, always making a lasting impression.

We tried going to La Discotecha twice, and both times we had to leave because we didn’t meet the age, taste or skill requirements.  Apparently they had some rule that you had to be over 40, have really bad taste in music and have no dancing skillz.  I met one of the three requirements but it wasn’t enough to keep us all there.

Night numero dos introduced us to downtown Cancun and cover charges.  So here is the thing, you pay a cover charge and drink for free the whole night.  Sounds ok, right?  Except cover charge is $60 not pesos, dollars, and if I drank $60 worth of anything I would die.  And quite frankly death is just such a downer on a vacation and I am too selfless to do that to any of my friends.  So we opted for perhaps a less “hip” location that was more in our budget.  I would say that for the most part we were all observers that night.  Meaning we didn’t start the conga line but we watched, we didn’t let them pour liquor into our mouths but we watched others, and while we didn’t take our shirts off on stage it was hard to turn a blind eye (P.S. guys without shirts not girls).  Welcome to Cancun!! 

So rather than drone on about every fun detail of the trip I will instead give you a list (my favorite). 

Top 10 things to avoid in Cancun, Mexico:

1.     THAT Guy, you know the one, the one whose own friends won’t claim him, the won whose only dance move is the dice roll, the one doing shots at 8:00 AM over eggs and toast.  Yeah, that one.

2.    The resort discoteche also known as the haven for those over 40 with no dance moves to speak of, possibly former THAT Guys.

3.    Speedos and guys wearing them.   No need to explain.

4.    Mexican men wearing Bob Marley hats selling “jewelry” on the beach.

5.    The water, duh.

6.    Resort staff organized games.  They say “musical chairs” but what they really mean is “let’s line these touristas up and make them dance, drink beer from a straw and make fools of themselves.”  Just ask Chad.

7.    The table by the stage with afore mentioned “That Guy” dancing directly above it (unless of course you brought your helmet and hand sanitizer with you).

8.    Paying full price, apparently everything is negotiable.  WARNING: don’t try this when you get home because you will likely be escorted out of Nordstrom when your final offer for a Fendi purse is $78.

9.    The water.

10.                       Changing swim suits while at the pool – apparently the staff frowns on that.  This was demonstrated by THAT Guy.

It was a fun and relaxing vaca and it makes me want to go on another one….maybe in a few weeks though I need to recover. 


P.S. None of us had any clue but Chad speaks Spanish.  He has a special method, he just ads an accent to any American word you can think of, and that makes it Spanish – it’s amazing!


P.P.S. There were several “That Guys” on this trip, luckily none of us were married to them and none of the single ladies got near them.


Beth, it’s not 4:30 yet, why are you going to the room?


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