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Telemarketers Beware

November 13, 2008

Working from home is great, Chad and I both are able to enjoy the benefits – him full time and me part time.  But there are drawbacks.  Such as the existence of two home phone lines.  Chad has his work line and I have mine.  Well, sort of.  I have a land line in case I need to make a conference call but really nobody calls me on that line so it’s solely to help telemarketers meet their daily call quotas.  The problem is around 8:00 Chad reaches his RING RING limit.  Not so much a problem for me or Chewy but more so for poor Juanita or Rose or Bob who happen to have reached the Ls on their list.  Let me give you a perfect example:

Ring Ring

Chad: Hello?

Innocent Telemarketer: Yes, is Mr. or Mrs. Lemons available

Chad: Did you want both of us at once or just one or the other?

Innocent Telemarketer: Um, I suppose just one.

Chad:  Oh ok, then this is Chad….and it’s Lemons like the fruit not Lemones.

Innocent Telemarketer: Sorry sir.  This is  _____ from ADP Security

Chad: Oh you mean the same ADP that called last week, the same ADP who I told we already used Brinks?

Innocent Telemarketer:Uhhh, I suppose so sir. Did you know that we were voted number one among security companies?

Chad: Number one among who? 4 out of 5 doctors?  Mechanics with weight problems?  Children under 5?  I mean what kind of group are we talking about here?

Innocent Telemarketer: Um, what?

Chad: Well, we are pretty secure right now.  In fact, if you were to break into my house right now the alarm would go off, my dog would bite you, I would shoot you and my wife would beat you with her high heel.

Innocent Telemarketer: Sir, is that a threat?

Chad: No not at all I just want you to know that right now the only thing NOT secure is my phone line and I would like you to remedy that by NOT CALLING AGAIN.



Don’t worry Chad doesn’t give just anyone the special treatment only repeat offenders.  The rest voluntarily take us off the list.


One Comment leave one →
  1. Cindy Oates permalink
    November 13, 2008 2:43 pm

    I think Chad should hold a seminar on how to handle telemarketers. I want to be the first to sign up! You go, mister!

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