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The Hills Are……Married?

November 25, 2008

I must give Lauren and Audrina 4 stars for their amazing performances this evening.  I suppose a few seasons have done their acting chops good and I actually believed that they were crying.  Way to go ladies.


Less believable was Holly Montag just dropping by Heidi and Spencer’s apartment.  Hmmm, ever heard of a cell phone Holly?  It would work sort of like this, “Hey Heidi, it’s Holly, are you at home?  No, you’re not because it’s the middle of the day and you are at work which means that your loser boyfriend probably IS home so why would I want to drop by?  Oh, ok, then I will just randomly show up at your work instead, see you soon.”  See, you could have saved yourself that whole awkward and rude exchange with passive aggressive man.


As far as Lauren and Justin’s supposed hook up.  I wouldn’t put anything past two people who have that much animosity towards one another and who may or may not have had a lot to drink.  You just never know the point where disgust turns to passion and liquid courage turns to drunken stupidity, it’s a fine line my friend….a fine line.


I have to side with Team Audrina on this one.  Not because I absolutely believe that Lauren is guilty but mostly because if Lauren were Audrina she would have her doubts too.  I mean Justin disappears for days at a time (as previously noted in last week’s episode) and he feels the need to wear a hood and a hat in California weather.  Never trust a man who over accessorizes or double layers his head gear in 80 degree weather.  It’s just not right.


Oh, Oh, and lest I not mention the news of the day – Speidi eloped. Yeah well, all I have to say is if I were a friend (either one of them) I would probably wait the acceptable 1 year before sending a gift just in case things don’t work out.  I mean, I would be royally pissed if I were to see Spencer making toast at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday with MY toaster gift if they end up not making it.  You know, not that I think they will fail.  They have all the makings of a life long marriage:

  1. She hasn’t given into the Hollywood stereotype of a nose job and fake boobs.  Wait.  Well, at least I don’t think she wears colored contacts and that’s probably her real hair too (she does have good hair, damn her).
  2. He is kind, sensitive and caring and embraces all of her friends and family
  3. They are on reality TV show together (HELLO, Newlyweds was great while it lasted but so, so sad when it ended).


Just lightly sauté 1-3, bring to a boil, let simmer and there you have it – a recipe for success!



“I’m smart!”


Blushing bride? Or booty grinding hussy?  Not sure, your thoughts?  At least he is holding her drink while she shakes her rear end in his crotch, what a gentlemen.


P.S.  Something very scary is happening in the man room.  Chad is combing through old Fantasy Football notebooks compiling scores and looking through stats to see if Josh Nelson does in fact have the highest scoring team in league history this year.  I see 10 notebooks but everything after that is on-line so I fear that I could be kicked off of the computer at any moment.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 25, 2008 2:56 pm

    I read about the Spencer/Heidi thing on Perez yesterday and thought of you! Though I don’t watch The Hills, I have to admit that I’m kind of surprised… I would have thought that they’d do some huge, elaborate, televised wedding. But I guess they did sell the photos to Us Weekly, right?

  2. Kelli permalink
    December 3, 2008 3:58 am

    Just what I needed! Someone else to analyze the Team Lauren vs. Team Audrina fiasco. BTW- Chad just informed me that I should feel lucky because your Chad makes my Chad look like a choir boy when it comes to fantasy football. I really cant imagine anything worse than my Chad. Maybe we should switch household for a Sunday to compare?

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