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Gluten Free = Joy Free

May 13, 2009

Monday night I went to a book signing/reading with friends.  If you have not discovered Jen Lancaster yet, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?  Start with Bitter is The New Black and work your way to her latest, Pretty in Plaid.  You will laugh and you will cry – because you are laughing so hard.  Jen is just as funny and charming in person as she is in her writing.  So what are you waiting for – get thee to a Barnes and Noble.

Jen

 

I Heart You Jen!

 

American Idol Thoughts and Opinions: I want Chris to go through, I really enjoy his renditions of songs, especially last night.  Danny is nice but very predictable.  Adam is a force to be reckoned with, even if I don’t care for his style (singing and clothing).  But I think there are too many Danny fans to allow poor Chris a chance.

The Hill’s Thoughts and Opinions:  Yawn….I think Justin Bobby is back on drugs. 

I made the decision last week to go gluten free, which essentially equates to: I have no more joy in my life whatsoever (at least in the realm of food).  Why such drastic measures?  Actually it’s not for diet reasons but digestive reasons, I won’t go in to detail (unless I get overwhelming feedback to do so) but I think I might be sensitive to gluten (which is wheat….which is in EVERYTHING).  So basically I *can eat meat, veggies, fruit, chocolate, cheese and, um, hmmm, well that’s about it……OH, and I can eat my precious Jelly Bellies THANK GOODNESS!  My cousin Jenni is a gluten expert and she sent me a short list of what contains gluten:

  • Wheat
  • Barley
  • Carmel Coloring (it’s in more than you think)
  • flour
  • food starch
  • oats
  • rye
  • rice

 

Read your food labels tonight people and just tell me how many things you find with the above ingredients.  I can’t even eat my soy patties anymore. 

RIP chips/salsa, bread (even Ezekial), Twizzlers, cupcakes, cake, pie crust (not that I eat a lot of that), crackers, most French fries (due to a coating most restaurants put on them), most rice and all other joyous glorious foods.  What else is there?  At least I have my wine so that I have company when I need to whine.  OH, and I can’t drink beer either but that’s no great loss, I hate beer.  I will say that I am giving it a one month trial period and if I don’t see improvements then it’s back to my old ways.  I already gave up diet drinks and artificial sweeteners and I don’t smoke so if I were going to give something up for Lint, if I were Catholic, it would have to be chicken or broccoli.  Ok, so maybe I could give up Jelly Bellies – if I wanted to go suicidal. 

chips

Dearest Chips and Salasa,

I am writing to tell you we can no longer see one another.  I know, it’s not you, it’s me.  Really it is.  I will miss your spicy crunch and the way you used to hold me over until my salad arrived.  You provided me joy and a ray of light when I knew my meal would only be lettuce, chicken and dressing on the side.  Farewell C&S, I know there is someone else out there that will love you as much as I do.

Love, Kat

P.S. If this whole gluten free thing doesn’t work out, can I call you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*This is not a totally comprehensive list but for the most part accurate.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Beth P. permalink
    May 13, 2009 2:27 pm

    I’m running to Barnes and Noble right now! Kidding. But I should have bought one of her books the other day….I got Chasing Harry Winston though. Haven’t started yet.

  2. Beth S. permalink
    May 13, 2009 6:48 pm

    Poor thing…I’d die without my oatmeal!! It’s time to take a Sprouts trip and stock up on your gluten free goodies:)

  3. Cindy permalink
    May 14, 2009 9:26 am

    You guys should see Kate’s muscles! I’m tellin’ ya, the girl is getting cut!

  4. Jennifer permalink
    May 27, 2009 12:37 am

    Good news girlfriend-you can indeed have chips and salsa 🙂 I will send you the GF lists I have from all the major companies. No Worries-you will not go hungry.

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