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Assessment of Damages

May 21, 2010

Your body is like a car.  It endures the stress of sun, heat, dings, and mileage.  Keeping this in mind I decided it was time to take my “car” in for an assessment of damages.

I spent yesterday afternoon going down my list of “dings” with the doctor:

  1. Smile line my a$$, it’s a deep rooted wrinkle to the left of my mouth, get rid of it

  2. Expression lines are for suckers, please remove all expression from my forehead

  3. Yeah, I know, I have laid out a time or two but I don’t want to LOOK like I have laid out, so please remove this sun damage

  4. And this vein on my leg is NOT “barely” noticeable so inject it, burn it whatever you gotta do just make it go away

I know.  I know.  I am a vain, superficial, awful person.  Please, keep your disapproval and judgment to yourself because I already know all the reasons why I am being ridiculous and selfish.  The thing is I don’t want to look like this in 10 years:


I figure that it’s cheaper and less invasive to do a few injections here and there than a total overhaul at 50.  I would rather NOT peel my face back, up, or off at any time so I look at this like tiny investments over time rather than a total makeover.  Because I know, without a doubt, that I do not want to look like this:



Hey, speaking of Heidi Montag the Hills is getting more and more disturbing.  Seriously.  Last season Heidi and Spencer were devout Christians and now they are crystal worshipers?  I can’t keep up.  All I know is that Lauren Conrad was one smart cookie to get out when she did.

Gosh, between my plastic surgery contemplations and my great taste in TV I sound about as deep as a puddle.   Speaking of blondes with a wealth of depth:

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