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The Byron “Talent”

May 25, 2010

Saturday Chad and I ventured out to the Byron with Jon and Andrea to witness Dallas’ finest in action – and I am not talking about the golfers.  In fact, was there even golf going on?  I’m not sure, I was way too focused on all the d-bags in training and Hookers R Us’ starting line-up.

Look.  There is a time and a place for spiked heels, mini-skirts, perfectly pressed hair, full makeup, and “the girl’s” on full display.  And while a golf tournament in the middle of the blazing hot day may seem like a good idea I assure you it is not.  Other than the miles of walking, hills, porta-potties, grassy knolls, 90 degree heat and d-bags around every corner I guess I can see why you might think so though.

Speaking of d-bags what’s the deal with referring to women as “talent?”  I probably heard 5 different groups of Lacoste shirt wearing 23 year olds make a comment about the awesome “talent.”  After I finished throwing up in my mouth I had to ask myself – what defines “talent?”  I didn’t notice any of the aforementioned girls playing any instruments, reciting any poetry, dancing, singing or doing anything other than walking up hills with heels on.  I guess that could be defined as talent but let’s be honest – American Idol will not be calling any time soon.

But between all the “talent” and the men hitting on the talent Saturday provided lots of entertainment.  We finished the day by looking at another bunch of houses with Gigi and Eric.  I don’t want to jinx anything but we found a winner.  And that’s all I shall say.  Oh, and no green swimming pools with tadpoles this time.  Though we did run in to yet ANOTHER shirtless home owner who was apparently completely unaware that his house was being shown.  Who lies on the couch shirtless in the middle of the day?  I guess the same person that has a stuffed fish and antlers in their master closet (nice).  Gigi and I say he was another divorcee as no respectable woman would allow a dead fish and animal remains in their closet AKA sanctuary.


P.S. You know what’s awesome, when you sneak out to roll the trash cans to the curb in your “only around the house” outfit only to be welcomed by your chatty neighbor.  Luckily she was wearing a t-shirt that said “Oh yeah, well I don’t like you either” with complimentary neon shorts and black socks.  So I was probably over dressed for the occasion in my tank top and shorts. 

P.P.S. Nobody over 12 should wear a cutsy t-shirt with a saying on it.  Same goes for scrunchies, hair bows, and that look where the young girls make a pony tail with their t-shirts in the back using an elastic hair band.

See what I mean - just. not.cute.

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